I know that I'm not the first one to say that sometimes the State Capitol is a funny place. We make joke about the politicians and they make fun of each other and us. There is, as the old saying goes, nothing wrong with a political joke as long as it doesn't get elected.
No one remembers what policy issue Governor Reagan and Assemblyman John Burton were fighting about when the sparks started to fly. But the old-timers at Brannon's Bar, the lobbyists' watering hole just across the street from the Capitol, do remember that when Governor Reagan called Assemblyman Burton a "nut," Burton quickly responded by calling a press conference in Capitol Park to feed the squirrels.
Governor Reagan wasn't alone in comparing legislators to one of California's most lucrative agricultural products. Dr. Jack W. Clapper, one of the lesser-known candidates for the 1970 Democratic nomination for Governor, told reporters that "there's a fair share of nuts in politics." Dr. Clapper, a psychiatrist by profession, went further by estimating that the exact number of legislators who "could profit from psychiatric treatment" at one in sixteen. No one was sure how he came up with that number.
It's easy to make fun of that all too common trait of politicians - long-windedness. Many an accomplished politician forgets that very often the definition of a "good speech" is one in which there is "a beginning and a conclusion placed not too far apart." A few years ago, during Assembly Speaker Antonio Villaraigosa's lengthy speech on the opening day of session, a former legislator-turned-lobbyist complained about the length of the proceeding as compared to that which earlier concluded in the State Senate. "The Senate," he said under his breath, "is already half-drunk by now."
And there are some politicians who are willing to do just about anything to get the media's attention. Elizabeth Keathley, a Peace & Freedom candidate for Governor in the laid back 1970s attracted the attention of reporters by campaigning a la natural on a nude beach. She explained to reporters "let's put it this way: I held a news conference in April and nobody came."
When politicians reach out to voters funny things can happen. Congressman Jerome R. Wadie (D-Contra Costa), while campaigning for Governor in 1974, asked an older man he was sitting next to at a San Diego park why he wouldn't shake his hand. "I'm 105 years old. I've never touched a politician or been touched by one in whole life - and I think I owe my longevity to that," said the man. Likewise, there are some politicians who try to avoid certain types of voters. "Big Daddy" Jesse Unruh, the longtime Speaker of the Assembly during the 1960s, told a colleague that "the biggest difference between the zealots on the left and those on the right is that the ones on the right smell better."
Speaker Unruh, who created the full-time Legislature and wanted to boost their pay, was a little sensitive about taking all the political heat for his colleagues for his proposal that the $6,000 cap on legislative salaries be lifted. One day as he was enjoying a cup of coffee and reading the newspaper in the Capitol's upstairs cafeteria, a staff member gave him a hard time for not giving the taxpayers their money's worth. Unruh shot back: "On $6,000 a year, you're lucky I can read." Placer County Board of Supervisors - take note.
When legislators have a few free moments they sometimes can't help making fun of each other. Last year, when Assemblyman Lou Correa (D-Anaheim), a card-carrying member of the legislative "bald caucus," introduced a resolution to declare April 22-28 "California Professional Beauty and Barbering Industry Week," he knew an onslaught was coming. Assemblywoman Rebecca Cohn (D-Saratoga) asked Correa "are you introducing this because you're having a bad hair day?" Assemblyman John Longville (D-Rialto) pushed the envelope of propriety by questioning whether Correa was even qualified to introduce such a resolution. Longville told Correa on the Assembly floor: "Listening to you on this bill is like taking advice from John Wayne Bobbitt on Viagra." The resolution squeaked by on a 77-0 vote.
And nearly 30 years after Governor Reagan called him a "nut," Speaker Pro Tempore Burton was still trying to make fun of his GOP opponents. On December 5, 1998, as the Senators returned to Sacramento to began a new session, Burton, upon noticing that two of the Republican leaders were sporting new beards, deadpanned that he was "glad to see the Party of Lincoln was going back to its roots."
And despite the need for serious reform in many public policy areas, I say keep the political humor coming. As my wife's father Steve Skubik, an old and wise political hand, liked to say, one hallmark of a free society is the ability of a people and their leaders to make fun of themselves.
Copyright 2001 The Auburn Sentinel