This column should be printed with a warning label that reads “WARNING: Readers are advised to hold their coffee cup firmly in both hands as this column contains ideas that are shocking and appalling to the unimaginative.” Of course, the loyal readers of the Auburn Sentinel, having absorbed a rough and ready pioneer spirit, are a tough lot and don’t need paternalistic warning labels. However, you never know, some soft out-of-towner on his way to Lake Tahoe may, while stopping in Old Town for gas and a sandwich, pick up this newspaper, read this column and insensibly gyrate like a wild man in front of the Shanghai Bar. They’ll take the poor man away. So, for liability purposes and to reduce overcrowding in the county jail, the unimaginative reader is considered forewarned.

I submit, for your careful consideration, a modest proposal for making the politicians who craft the annual state budget more accountable to the voters. I hereby propose that all children, five years of age and older be given the right to vote in California state elections. A diploma from preschool will not be required. You may be thinking “Kevin, we now know that you’ve finally gone over the deep end.” We are all in favor of thinking “outside the box,” however, thinking that is a little unhinged is another thing. But stay with me. The logic behind this modest proposal is simple and compelling. When the state government requires that people pay for certain programs, those same people should have a right to vote for or against the Governor and state legislators. It’s all about accountability.

My modest proposal to extend the voting franchise was inspired by Governor Davis. Last week, in what is called the “May Revise,” Governor Davis proposed a number of ideas to balance the $99 billion state budget including a proposal to issue a $4.5 billion bond secured by a portion of the Tobacco Settlement revenues that are expected to be received by the state over the next 22 years. Essentially, the Governor is proposing that the next generation of voters pay for the profligacy of the current generation of politicians.

First, to understand what the Governor is proposing, a little background on the Tobacco Settlement is in order. In the late 1990s, a number of states sued the tobacco companies alleging that peoples’ addiction to cigarettes caused the states to expend taxpayer dollars through Medicaid and other public programs to pay for the health care costs of low-income smokers. On November 16, 1998, the attorney generals of a number of states (including California) and the nation’s four largest tobacco companies (accounting for 95% of cigarette sales) agreed to settle more than 40 pending lawsuits. In exchange for dropping the state-inspired lawsuits, the tobacco companies agreed to pay $206 billion to the states through 2025. California is scheduled to receive $25 billion through 2025; the state government receiving $12.5 billion and the 58 counties and four cities receiving the remaining $12.5 billion. These funds can be used for any purpose.

Last year, as a part of the 2001-2002 Budget Act, the Governor and Legislature agreed to use the state share of the annual tobacco settlement payments (about $500 million per year) for expanding health coverage to the uninsured, cancer treatment, and youth anti-tobacco efforts. But now Governor Davis is proposing to throw last year’s budget agreement out the window. Because the Governor and the Legislature became giddy over the sudden influx of capital gain taxes paid by dot-com millionaires and engaged in a spending orgy – a 37% spending increase over the last several years – the Governor now wants to sell a bond to get $4.5 billion in up-front tobacco settlement revenues and use the money just for this year’s budget.

But obtaining $4.5 billion in cash will only come at a price. Potential bond purchasers know that there is a risk that if one or more of the four tobacco companies declares bankruptcy that the tobacco settlement revenues will be significantly reduced or disappear. To sell the bonds, the state will have to offer a premium or fixed interest payment to investors. So, to obtain $4.5 billion in cash now, the state will have to pay bondholders $7 or $8 billion over the next 22 years. The $3 or $4 billion in interest payments will not be available to use to support vital state services but instead will be redistributed into the pockets of bondholders. This is a reverse Robin Hood scenario in which the state robs little Danny and Annie over the next two decades, as they advance from preschool through college, to benefit the immediate needs of politicians seeking election this November.

In 1729, Jonathan Swift, master satirist and the famous author of Gulliver’s Travels, published an essay entitled “A Modest Proposal.” In this essay, Swift proposes, as a way to prevent “the children of poor people in Ireland from being a burden to their parents or country, and for making them beneficial to the public,” that 100,000 Irish infants be sold for food. Of course, Swift was not being serious. He was trying to make an important political point about the cruel treatment of the Irish and their resultant poverty.

I hope that I have, despite my inexpert pen, be able to outline the fiscal imprudence and immaturity of Governor Davis’ proposal to grab future streams of tobacco settlement revenues to temporarily paper over the spending orgy of the last three years. It makes the idea giving the vote to little Danny and Annie, as they play in the dirt at preschool, seems a little less absurd. And for anyone, who is still holding on to his or her coffee cup with both hands, you can let go now.

Copyright 2002 The Auburn Sentinel